


The Adventures of Atia of the Pavii

by quiteanerdling



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adoribull - Freeform, Cats, Fluff, M/M, Pets, Unrepentant Fluff, the stress of pet ownership is real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 14:43:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6662959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiteanerdling/pseuds/quiteanerdling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dorian Pavus discovers that pet ownership is hard on both his heart and his laundry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Adventures of Atia of the Pavii

**Author's Note:**

> I got an anonymous tumblr prompt that almost broke my heart:
> 
> Anonymous asked: Adoribull with a pet getting sick but making it through? Or maybe not making it through. I just got a call that my cat is dying and needs to be put down and I guess I just want someone else to be happy
> 
> Atia is an Abyssinian and she is 100% names after the character from Rome, hence the title. FIGHT ME.
> 
> No animals are harmed in this fic, I can't go there and never will.

Dorian had faced terrors most men would never be able to imagine. He’d harnessed the very forces of death and horror and used them to destroy his enemies. He had traveled to the future and walked bodily into the Fade, but none of these things had prepared him for the helpless terror of pet ownership. 

Being responsible for one small, fuzzy animal should not have been so daunting, and yet Dorian was beginning to think that perhaps Acquinea had been right to deny him pets as a child. Even as a grown adult the stress was getting to him.

“Atia, we’ve had this discussion before, you cannot simply go waltzing into the stables to associate with the barn cats! They are filthy and violent, and also you could be trampled by that ridiculous nugalope of Bull’s!”

Atia slowly blinked her brilliant green eyes at him and then went back to daintily grooming the tip of her tail. It felt like an obvious dismissal, but Dorian was not to be put off. He walked over to the bed and picked her up, cradling her gently in his arms. She didn’t protest, instead wiggling into a more comfortable position and began to purr.

“Oh none of that you, I will not be manipulated, you nearly gave me a heart attack!”

He had found her holding court in the stables with three other cats, all perched atop the back of the giant nugalope that Dust had acquired for Bull, much to Dorian’s horror and chagrin. Bull thought the monstrosity was cute as a button, _of course_.

Atia gave one of her odd little chirps. She wasn’t one for meowing, but she did have a wide variety of vocalizations that seemed designed to melt Dorian’s willpower into so much slippery goo. The chirping was one of the worst.

“Fine, fine, but if you get yourself hurt I will never forgive you!”

* * *

“Bull!” Dorian exclaimed, squeezing one massive grey shoulder. “Bull! Wake up this instant before I set you on fire.” Bull let out a long, heartfelt moan, cracking his single eye open to look up at Dorian reproachfully.

“ _Kadan_ , this is the first time I’ve slept in a bed in _three weeks_. What the fuck?”

“There’s something wrong with Atia!”

That managed to get Bull’s attention with gratifying quickness. 

“What? Where? What happened?” Bull sounded groggy, but decidedly concerned.

“Listen.” Dorian instructed, placing a finger over Bull’s lips. They both stayed silent as Bull listened to the piteous mewls and pants coming from… somewhere in their room. Bull’s hearing was decidedly superior to Dorian’s - normally he’d probably have heard Atia crying first if he hadn’t been so very exhausted from travel and their enthusiastic reunion. 

“Where is she?” Bull asked, sitting up and letting the blankets fall away with a short groan.

“I don’t know!” Dorian said fretfully. “I’ve been looking but I didn’t want to make a light with you asleep and I couldn’t find her from the sound alone.”

“All right _kadan_ , calm down, we’ll find her, go ahead and make your light.”

Dorian summoned a bright white wisp, sending it high to light the whole room. Bull stood up and stretched, and it said something about Dorian’s level of distress that he didn’t even bother ogling his lover as the qunari pulled on his dreadful pants.

“All right, hold still a minute big guy, lemme see what I can do.”

Dorian held still, trying not to fidget, or babble nervously as Bull swung his great horns in a sweep around the room. The mewling sound came again and Bull’s eye narrowed and his face took on the same expression it did when he was in the field and on the watch for hidden enemies. Though _watch_ might not be the right word - Dorian suspected that sounds and scent were more useful for Bull.

The sound again, and Bull strode across the room to the chest of drawers that Dorian had moved in recently when he’d finally given up the pretense of not living with Iron Bull. Bull waited another beat and then pulled open the top drawer with unusual care.

“Oh shit!” Bull exclaimed.

Dorian’s heart plummeted right into his stomach and he felt a suspicious burn in in his sinuses almost before he knew what was happening. He slapped one hand over his mouth to keep from whimpering. He should never have been trusted with the responsibility. His poor Atia, she had probably eaten something bad or been bitten by one of the dogs or-

“ _Kadan_ come see!” Bull’s excited _whisper_ was enough to cut off his spiral of worry and he cautiously walked across the room, instinctively moving from carpet to carpet to keep his feet warm. He reached Bull’s side and looked into the drawer where he kept his small clothes, stockings, scarves, and other small accessories. 

Atia was laying in the middle of them all, panting and looking wretchedly uncomfortable, giving the occasional cry. She gave a little chirp when she saw Dorian, wiggling and drawing his attention to where _something_ was moving between her back legs and-

“ _Vishante kaffas_ what in the Maker’s name is going on? What are those  _things_? Bull, why are you _laughing_?”

And Bull _was_ laughing, trying to stay quiet, tears actually running down his cheek. How could his lover be so unutterably cruel?

“Oh _kadan_ , your _face!_ I thought she’d been getting kinda fat lately!”

Dorian was so angry he could feel electricity crackling in his fingertips.

“Bull! She’s _ill_ , how could you? We need to find Dennet or Cole or…”

Dorian cut off as his brain finally stopped spinning uselessly and started working.

“Bloody buggering _fuck_ she’s in labor!” He exclaimed, which set Bull off into another fit of laughter. He turned away so he could hunch over without goring Dorian. “She’s in labor on my _clothes!_ ” 

He looked back down at Atia, realizing that the strange wiggling things were actually new born kittens. He also realized that new born kittens were quite disgustingly gooey and unappealing. 

“Ugh, that’s going to be impossible to clean!”

“Oh _kadan_ , I love you.” Bull had gotten himself under control, wrapping his great arms around Dorian’s shoulders and nuzzling into Dorian’s mangled hair. Dorian couldn’t help but melt a bit into his embrace despite the indignation of it all. Relief that Atia hadn’t been poisoned or mauled had him nearly shaking with emotion. He sighed and looked down at her fondly. Right until her stomach spasmed and then he quickly turned and buried his face against Bull’s bare chest.

“I can’t watch, tell me when it’s over!”

* * *

Atia had three tiny, perfect little copies of herself, and one kitten who was bigger than the rest and bore a remarkable likeness to the huge, long haired, one eyed tomcat that fancied itself the king of the stable. Bull laughed himself sick when he noticed the resemblance, and even Dorian had to smile. Apparently they _both_ had excellent taste in partners.


End file.
